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Channeling Grief into Creativity with Uma Girish

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Channeling Grief into Creativity with Uma Girish

Bright and early on Friday, I was talking with Uma Girish, one of my next interviews on the Rebuilding Your Life…. Podcast. I became aware of Uma through the 30-Day Podcast Challenge where she introduced her podcast, The Grammar of Grief. Grief is a natural byproduct of loss, whether we are losing a loved one or everything that we have built up in our lives so I was looking for someone to talk about the topic – and there was Uma.

The stages of grief are well documented. In the immediate aftermath of an event, the first responders and community of support (whether friends, family, church and community, hospital or the Red Cross) get us through the shock and strong emotions we experience.

And then we are home alone with more questions than answers, coping with our new reality. There are often so many things to do in our physical world that we are not paying attention to the symptoms of grieving that are popping up around us. I know that for weeks, Peter and I rescued everything we could from our destroyed home as we figured out what lay ahead of us. Although we conscientiously made efforts to get back to our normal routines, it was challenging. When we finally settled into the rental house that would be our home until the financial issues were resolved, we immediately had physical symptoms of distress and spent weeks with the chiropractor, and the anxiety was relentless. Other people may experience a great deal of loneliness, hostility and guilt.

It’s easy to sink into depression under these circumstances. That’s why a friend at church, Sue Smith (who is a therapist), gave me a routine to follow that might stave off the more serious symptoms of depression – and I was watching for any telltale signs.   She suggested that I spend some time everyday doing each of several tasks: Be in beauty or find inspiration through prayer or meditation. Eat good food that has been cooked as if company was coming. Get enough sleep, at least 7-8 hours. Get some exercise. Laugh. Watch TV, listen to tapes and laugh. Talk with a friend with whom you can share anything. Learn something new. Over time, I added a couple of my own. Be of service. Helping others helps you feel better as well. And spend a few minutes every morning to express gratitude and appreciation for life and where you see movement toward restoring your life and building toward something better.

When we are grieving, we may find it difficult to make that shift toward a renewed future. We may have rebuilt as much of the life we had as possible, yet a gaping hole remains and it stops us from enjoying ourselves. We draw a blank on pursuing a different future and don’t want to lose our memories of what was before.   This is where Uma Girish comes into the conversation.

Uma is a Grief Guide and certified Dream Coach, as well as an award-winning author. Her book, Losing Amma, Finding Home: A Memoir About Love, Loss and Life’s Detours is published by Hay House. In it she chronicles her own story of the grief journey she undertook when she lost her mother. That journey became the impetus for her work as a grief guide and the creation of her message: We are not the same person we were before the loss. Although we are changed by the experience of loss, it also opens a portal to a new dream that comes to us through the pain of loss. Our healing journey is to recognize that dream, embrace it and experience the joy of our new creation.

As Uma comes from a place of similar experience, she has the ability to explain some aspects of how we are able to do this through looking at the unfinished business in our lives. And I love her way of describing how gratitude can help us move from being a victim to a victor. She calls it “shapeshifting” our grief story.

This is transformational work. To facilitate progress, Uma offers private sessions via phone and Skype, as well as an eCourse From Grief to Gratitude through her website www.umagirish.com.   She is also the co-founder of the International Grief Council which seeks to educate and empower those who are grieving a loss.

I’d like you to meet Uma Girish. She’s one of my next guests on Rebuilding Your Life: Moving from Disaster to Prosperity. The podcast is available iTunes at: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/rebuilding-your-life-moving/id975055547 as well as Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=62871&refid=stpr.

Please get ready to listen in as we learn more about channeling grief into creativity with Uma Girish.

To Your Success,

Susan

 

Sprinkling a Bit of Holiday Spirit

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In the mood for a family friendly, feel good holiday movie? May I suggest Hallmark Channel’s NorthPole premiering at 8/7C on Saturday night, November 15th.. I attended the screening for Hallmark Channel’s latest holiday original and had a grand time.

Bailee Madison and Max Charles star. They set out to save the town of NorthPole when a lack of holiday spirit threatens. The film is a feel good example of how a few people working together can make a big difference in the world.

I’m not sure if you are in the throes of preparing for the holidays, but we’re smack dab in the middle of it at Home and Family. All the scary decorations in Dave Lowe’s Halloween masterpiece are down and we are preparing for our big primetime Holiday Special, scheduled for the evening of November 24th.

Before then and throughout December, cast and crew are lining up the music, movement, crafts, food and stories that will bring the magic of the holidays to life. Dave has drawn another beautiful sketch of how the house will look when all the lights are up and other holiday elements come together. What I enjoy the most is the creative thought process involved in pulling this all together. It draws upon the ideas and feelings of so many people as they remember their own holiday experiences.

I’m still thinking about what I want to do at home to evoke memories of the holidays in my hometown: football and fall colors for Thanksgiving, the annual Christmas parade, complete with Santa and Mrs. Claus, and holiday concerts galore. The season culminated as we went to Christmas services, hung stockings by the fireplace, decorated the tree and set out a plate of cookies and milk for Santa, wishing we could stay up to see his arrival. Of course, we never did. Instead, at first light of day, I would creep into my parents’ room to ask them to get up. One of them would go first and then let us know when it was okay to go time to go downstairs as well. I always remember how beautiful the tree was with the colored lights lit. There was something so magical about it all.

Even when I was a mother myself, my father led the annual discussion about Santa Claus. He never allowed me to stop believing — for Dad felt the very spirit of Christmas was embodied in the love and open generosity Santa brought to each family year in and year out.

It did not matter how much was spent. We could make them ourselves or save our pennies for an ideal gift. Even if we were short on funds, we could offer a handwritten note with a promise to make breakfast or provide a service. The important thing was that we thought to give a gift to someone else.

Just as the March girls of Little Women would bring baskets of food to neighbors, we would participate in making up the annual Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for those less fortunate. Love radiated throughout the community as random acts of kindness were given to others. And Joy! As we sang together, worked together for a common goal, and appreciated our blessings. I feel better just thinking about the ways we can show our mutual appreciation for our loved ones, friends, colleagues and communities. That’s the message of Northpole and one I hope we can embrace this season and sprinkle a bit of the holiday spirit to all.

The Joy of a 3 Day Weekend

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I really needed this fabulous weekend. The past couple weeks have been stressful as we strive to create great shows, while facing the challenge to bring the season in “on time and on budget.” So, it has felt great to kick back, curled up to finish a novel I’ve been slowly reading. I had planned to do things around the house and to promote Rainbows Over Ruins.

If you haven’t read my book yet, the story focuses on my growing awareness that there is a creative thought process that makes it possible to identify what you truly desire, choose actions that support it and get the results you want. Since my entire career has centered on producing, facilitating, and supporting the unfettered creative spirit, coaching this process in order to achieve our creative potential is a natural outgrowth. The book has been a first step in that direction.

Anyway, a funny thing happened on the way to making progress on my To-Do list. One of those items was to focus on the needs and desires of my target audience. Because the book is about our recovery after a landslide destroyed our home, I was looking for people who have to change for any number of reasons or survive difficult situations as I have done. They will have to prepare to transition to new opportunities, develop their outer game by setting goals and taking positive actions as they rethink, redefine and reignite their purpose. If they are developing businesses (and a significant number are), they will engage in strategic planning, team building, and deal with conflict resolution. It will be easier if they ask for help.

As I meandered through the Internet doing a Google search, the keyword I liked most was the word “creativity.” When you are in recovery mode, you benefit from the ability to access your creative potential. This involves the inner game, connected to limitless possibilities. As new creative techniques are learned and applied to common life and workplace challenges, an entirely different energy emerges. It yields a positive outlook and forward looking capacity, even in the face of adversity. It energizes the creative spirit and makes all things possible. If you learn how to flip your thinking, pop paradigms, ask better questions and use power habits, you find your creative self and reap the full benefit of the creative process for personal development and business projects.

With thoughts about creativity tumbling around my mind, I felt a call to look over the draft of my business plan. If you’ve read the book, you know that I have a dream to create a center where people can learn these skills, as well as writing an additional book about the creative workplace. Turning again to the draft proposal, I was reminded of one of my Dad’s stories. It was a bit of a horror story, really, about the tragic ends to doctoral students who could not answer one key question when they went before the panel for their doctoral review: What is the benefit of this work for individuals and businesses? What is the value? In the case of the business plan, the questions would be: Why do we need a Center? Why do we need to improve our creativity?

So my last day off is being spent answering those questions. It has been very helpful to turn to the work of Bruce Nussbaum, author of Creative Intelligence. (I had picked up a copy of his book several months ago in one of those serendipitous moments – a Godwink – when an entire table at Barnes and Noble was dedicated to books on creativity.)

It feels good to hear my own words validated on his pages. We are all creative, even when we are just doing our jobs, even if we don’t think of ourselves that way. But Nussbaum also makes two points that address the question if this work has value to others. Of course, he believes it does.

From a needs perspective, everyone feels the effects of a rapidly changing world. We live in what the military calls VUCA, a time that is “volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous.” Nussbaum observes his students coping with this by an awareness that they need to create their own opportunities “in order to survive, and they [want] to learn how.” (Creative Intelligence, p. 16). Of course, it isn’t just the students who face this. All of us do. “We need to prepare ourselves for jobs that don’t yet exist, using technologies that haven’t been invented, to solve problems that we haven’t recognized” (CI, p. 33).

This affects anyone in transition or any form of life crisis. Just as the rug is pulled out from under them, they face the need to redefine and recreate themselves in a new world they barely understand. They need a way to raise their awareness that there are creative skills they can learn so that they have the means to face these issues in a proactive way.

But the joy of this work – and I’m all about joy and well-being – does not center on the needs aspect. Bruce Nussbaum also mentions Sonia Manchanda, of IDIOM (India), who asks: “Why not focus on aspirations – dreams that we may not believe are even possible?” (CI, p. 29)

Remember, within each crisis is opportunity. Each of us has the chance to learn to focus our ideas into creations that have value and bring us joy, a sense of accomplishment, and the chance to help others. Great potential comes from strong aspirations coupled with the willingness to flip one’s counterproductive thoughts, develop power habits and direct them toward successful results.

I may not have a center yet, however, thanks to a strange meandering 3 day weekend, I am centered on its value. May you find similar times to discover your aspirations and begin to see them unfold.

To Your Success,

Susan

What if you had a “piano teacher” for your mind?

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Sharing the creative process and being what Noah St. John calls a “loving mirror” to others is similar to developing a pianist or fine athlete.  A piano teacher or athletic coach offers principles and techniques designed to teach you to make music or play a winning game. Similarly, a piano teacher for your mind teaches and offers constructive guidance to help you improve your life or achieve your dreams.

Do you remember those early lessons? Scales repeated every day, reaching for chords that stretched the flexibility of hands, learning to read the notes on the page, and beginning to discover the voice and tempo of a simple composition from clues written on the sheet music… In the beginning, it seemed mundane and arduous; a chore set before you by parents and teachers alike. 

Yet over time, with much daily practice and many weekly classes, we developed a certain agility. Our hands flowed more smoothly over the keys. We made fewer jarring mistakes and we made music. People noticed the improvement and started to appreciate what we were doing.

As long as we kept practicing to maintain these skills and get into the rhythmic feeling of the compositions, the piano yielded its treasures. We mastered them first for ourselves, then gradually shared them with our families, a school band or concert orchestra.  Perhaps we expanded our reach and participated in plays, on a team, or made movies.  We developed resiliency and strength to perform under the pressure of public presentation.

Why do others care about our music or creativity? Why do they come to watch or listen to our performances? Why do they value it? It’s my contention that we express our feelings through our craft and the audience listens because they like the way we make them feel.  And in return, we value the appreciation we feel when they respond to our work.

Our piano teacher is often the first one to guide us to this experience, supporting us through the early developmental stages, providing constructive criticism to help us improve and cheering us on as we achieve new milestones and try our hands at something new.

The analogy here is that the way we think needs to be nurtured in much the same way. We have a mind and we go to school to learn skills that we can use throughout life to help us survive and live a comfortable life. If we grow up in a spiritual home, we learn to pray, attend services or meetings with others and come to value service to our fellow beings.

But without the guidance of a “piano teacher of the mind,” we may not be fully aware of how we may coordinate these two aspects of the mind to create the life we desire. A teacher would help raise our awareness of the qualities of the conscious and non- or subconscious mind. In the materialistic world we do not always recognize the value of the subconscious mind – its open, receptive nature and ability to connect with what quantum physics calls fields of all possibility.  A teacher can help us learn techniques like afformations in order to collaborate with the subconscious mind’s inherent nature and obtain desired results. Anyone who can ask a question can learn to do this.

As a teaching guide to the mind and conscious creativity, my task is to show you the basics and raise your awareness that the subconscious mind does not judge. It accepts what come to it whether good or bad – and reacts in kind.  Your results depend upon both your conscious thoughts and the effect of your feelings as well.  With regular practice you can learn to use tools and techniques to manage both in order to influence the subconscious for your benefit. You can set up a daily inner routine for the mind that is even more powerful than what you do in your outer activities.

Your personal process requires practice, just like learning to play the piano. It also benefits from regular interaction with the teachers who support your growth and others with similar interests. It is inspired by companionship with those who express their joy and speak of discovering new awareness. It benefits from the presence of others who help us see what we may have missed and then help us adjust.

I have long since lost contact with my first piano teachers and my fingers are not so nimble on the keys these days.  Perhaps if I had stayed in touch, my musical skills would be far better. But I know the value of such teachers and apply it in my daily practice routine for my mind.  And I am grateful for interaction with those who keep my skill set up to date now.

If you want all the benefits to be gained through knowledge of the mind in order to get the results you desire, may I suggest you ask for your piano teacher of the mind, learn the basics of the creative process and practice regularly.  With your loving mirror nearby, you can clear the way and enjoy the full expression of your creativity.  Let me know if I can help.

Do You Schedule Enough Dreamtime?

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Sharing the story within my book Rainbows Over Ruins has taken over my free time. It speaks of the creative process I have been learning since the landslide, and I have been contemplating all manner of ways to tell people about it. Since finishing the manuscript, I have been writing a companion workbook for readers to go through the process as they read. As that has developed, it has naturally led into thoughts about how to coach them through the exercises as well. This natural progression is the result of what Noah St. John calls “imperfect action taking.” We don’t wait to try something until we become perfect at it. We start where we are right now and let the results emerge through us.

It is as if we are all wired to become the best “Me” that we can be. I couldn’t help thinking about babies and small children who are willing to try and try again until they master life’s basics. As infants, they want life’s comforts and master the communication skills that get adults to bring it to them. As they observe others in their environment, they begin to desire what they see around them. They want some control over their ability to have these things and the freedom to get them when they want it. They want to do what they see others doing. Those desires fuel their relentless attempts to roll over, crawl, stand and walk. They make no excuses for their tiny failures and naturally persist in doing whatever it takes to get what they want. Along the way, they develop likes and preferences and a sense of who they want to be when they grow up. They play and pretend, using whatever resources surround them to create the environment they believe makes up the adult experience. They mimic.

But something else can also happen to us. As we grow older, the cumulative effect of failure, rejection and loss can lead us to become more risk adverse. The mind numbing effect of too much information overload and the drug like, hypnotic effect of media may stop us from seeking to expand our circumstances and surroundings. More complacent, we may be content to follow familiar routines and habits regardless of whether those actions contribute to future dreams. It begins to feel too hard to change, adjust or rebuild after a loss. Sometimes we don’t remember what we wanted to be when we grew up or care about becoming the Best Me I Can Be anymore.

The results are not good. We get bored, depressed or overwhelmed by even the smallest problems. As a young woman, I remember asking myself “Is this all there is?” Our thoughts are filled with negative questions, doubt, worry and fear. We whine and complain, resent others for having better lives, and often look for ways to dull the memories of distant childhood dreams. Some would rather stay stoned or become addicted to blot out the pain and frustration.

After the landslide, I experienced some of those feelings. I had no idea of how to rebuild after losing the house, and in its aftermath, we didn’t even have the comfort of familiar routines. Feelings of doubt, worry and fear threatened to drown me. Peter and I could easily have given up because at first it looked as if there were no answers. But we got through it. We dealt with the problems one step at a time, daily, as the next presented thing and moved from disaster to dreams coming true. We both enthusiastically continue to pursue our Best Me I Can Be every day.

So how did we turn the situation around? That is the subject of my book as we unknowingly lived the creative process in order to rebuild. I’ve come to believe that everyone has the ability to express this creativity to improve the circumstances and events in which they find themselves. We started by taking an inventory. We looked at the resources we had left, acknowledged the contrasts and conflicts around us and began to dream of what could be better.

If you are serious about improving your life, you need to make room in your daily schedule for more dream time. Use daydreaming, mind movies, meditation, journaling or centered prayer, but allow the well spring of creativity deep within you to emerge so that you can feel how good you feel in those dreams. It is key to getting what you want. If you can find one thing that makes you feel good or one action you can take every day, you can use the power of your mind to ask for what you want as part of your daily routine. It may not happen overnight, but you will be amazed how much can shift in a positive way. Try it. I think you’ll like the results.

Willing to Meet the Audience

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I’ve spent my morning daydreaming and planning how I am going to share my book Rainbows Over Ruins when it is published. The prospect of reaching out to others has been looming over my head for months. With only a few items in the editorial notes left to address, this could be happening within a very short time frame. Of course, it’s also part of my work in television. We are always asking questions about developing an audience. What I have been learning is that building an audience for a network program and building one for a personal project is surprisingly similar.

First, finding our audience is a natural outgrowth of creativity. At some point in our creative process, we are going to want to share our creations. This is especially true if you make multiple items that require storage, if you want to move a project along in order to make room for new ideas, if you need additional resources in order to continue to create, or want to recoup the costs of what you have already done. It helps to know what you ultimately want from your creativity.

In my case, after a landslide destroyed our home, I became fascinated by the creative process and the power of the mind, especially when I saw that my own steps to rebuild paralleled the process involved. I set out to describe it. What happened to me next led to greater depths of understanding than I expected as each step was revealed and the corresponding life lesson learned. I believe the information contained in the story I tell can improve people’s lives.

Was I thinking about sharing the story when I set out to implement the idea of writing a book? Of course, it was in the back of my mind when I started to write, however, as I got inspired with the project and working through all the details involved in order to see my vision come to life as a published book, how to share wasn’t front and center.

It is now. Once I have a box of books on my dining room table, what am I going to do with it? I’ve been reading and now have scraps of paper, pages in my notebooks and white boards of information designed to help me create a plan to raise awareness of my book so that people will know it exists. All this study has provided me the basics to know what to do. What remains is to activate my willingness to make it so.

It’s a little daunting as I begin to introduce myself to strangers and share what is a very personal journey through the creative process. Yet each time someone comes up to me to ask me a question or tell me how much they are looking forward to reading Rainbows Over Ruins, I feel better. And it feels good to be able to encourage others to share their creative projects as they see me going through the experience as well. Each conversation is helping me realize who needs what I have to offer and I’m glad – and grateful – that they are willing to share that with me.

Let It Shine, Let It Shine, Let It Shine

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Happy Thanksgiving! It’s the holiday season in my world. In the background, the Home and Family Holiday Special is playing. For the next few weeks, we will think of little other than food, traditions, gifts, music and all the ways to celebrate the spirit of this special time of year.

For myself, gratitude is the first word that comes to mind because I have been so blessed to be working on a show for a network that embodies the highest of values. Back that up with a cast and crew who put in so much energy and good will every day at the “office” which in our case is a beautiful house and gardens.

A lyric crosses my mind. It’s a phrase from a Sunday school song: “let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.” It makes me smile. The lights on the roof and in the trees and the skating rink installed for this show are all shining.

But the song is not about lighting up your house for the holidays; it’s a parable to remind each of us to stop hiding our talents under a bushel. Get the word out. Let others feel your joy as you share your gifts. Each of us has a value and something to contribute to others. If you know what it is, then shout it from the rooftops! If you are shy or unclear about it, then find someone who can help you define and share your natural gifts. The world needs what you have to offer in order to bless and support all that other people need to make their contribution.

The thought inspires me with a great New Year’s Afformation, although you could start using it now. Try saying this every day: Why do I let my creativity shine? Why do I let my natural gifts and talents shine for those who need what I have to offer?

May the holiday season bring you and your families joy and anticipation of a multitude of possibilities for an abundant, creative year.

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